Skewed News

In a scene straight out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Canada’s beloved Governor General Michaëlle Jean sliced opened a seal and ate its heart raw.

The GG was following through on a traditional Inuit feast while showing solidarity to sealers who have faced international hatred.

The controversial Governor General has once again won praise and guffaws for her actions in eating seal. Critics have complained her role is mostly symbolic as a representative of the Queen, but is often the case with Michaëlle Jean, she enjoys stirring up political trouble.

Sealers have complained Prime Minister Stephen Harper hasn’t supported them in desire to club seals on ice floes.

However, recent comments by Minister of Defense Peter MacKay endorsing seal should help the beleaguered industry.

MacKay told CBC News, “I think that was wonderful. I think she’s Canada’s new Braveheart for eating the seal heart,” said MacKay, referring to the Mel Gibson film about Scottish hero William Wallace.

“We’re going up there again in the summer, the chief of defence staff and I as we did last year [for a military operation], and I expect there’ll be an opportunity to try some delicious seal. I would encourage all Canadians to try seal. It’s a wonderful product.”

Canadians haven’t rushed out to purchase seal meat on MacKay’s suggestion…Yet.

The British, who haven’t had much to do with Canada in decades, have complained bitterly their representative (technically the Governor General reps the Queen), shouldn’t be engaging in politics by eating seal heart.
Dickie Arbiter, the former press secretary to the Queen, told CBC News from London.

“Her role is largely ceremonial and what she does in the political arena is really on the advice of the prime minister and the ministers. And to start cutting up a seal and eating it is sort of making a political statement and not what one expects a Governor General to do.”

The European Union has banned seal sales from their nation states.
No word on when out spoken anti-sealers Paul McCartney and Pam Anderson will bemoan the seal feast. Both Anderson and McCartney have publicly appeared during seal hunt season in the poverty and celebrity stricken villages where the seal hunts take place to bolster their careers.